Sometimes you have to just let it all go...get it out...on "paper".  I "kind of" want you to read this, but mostly it is for me. At the risk of sounding narcisstic, it is MY blog. I can write what I like.  You can choose to read it, comment, defriend me, go to the next blog...all up to you.   For now, I will write. About me.

Here is my wordle.

I was told that if I start talking about God to my friends...I would lose friends. That sounds so absurd, if  I cannot talk to you about God, well, are you my friend? Would you be so offended that you turned away from me?  Then I thought...hmm, I will call my 4 friends and talk about God and see what they say.  Guess what?  Yes, they are all still my friends.   In fact, they said..."its about time...I am sick of hearing about your life of sin...glad you found your way back!" Okay, not really...they did agree however, that following God is the right choice, the only choice and affirmed why we are and have been friends forever.  Forever. 

Ever had so many questions that you couldn't fall asleep? I feel like that now...I asked someone I have known 33 years,  "seriously...do you ALWAYS put God first? Is that the #1 relationship in your life?"  "Yes, God, my husband, then my children."  How does one do that?  Where did that come from? How did she know to do that?

Commitment...making it to all the scheduled appointments on my calendar.  Making sure my kids get to school on time...making sure my life is about being committed to sharing the good things God has done for me and the people I love.   How do you stay committed to something? A diet, a change, a relationship? I always think some commitments take a special kind of person. Am I that special person?

Vulnerable...defined below.  How does one become vulnerable without appearing weak? Maybe we are weak, maybe being vulnerable makes us stronger.  It leaves me puzzled. 

vul·ner·a·ble

[vuhl-ner-uh-buhl] Show IPA adjective

1.  capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.

2.  open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.

Faith...Having enough of it to get me through the day and have a little leftover for my children.  Faith? Faith is believing that there is someone with me along for the ride who enjoys a little bit of a rollercoaster now and again...and has an amazing sense of humor.  Is faith tangible? Is it only a belief? I feel like I have had it, lost it, gotten it back again and wish for my closest friends to find theirs again.

When I graduated from college as a teacher, I wanted to save the world.  I was committed to it...I was open (and vulnerable) to the possibility of making it happen...I had faith. 

As a mom, I am committed to being the best person I can for my children. To love them, guide them as they find their place in this world...THEY are vulnerable, I am vulnerable when I think of them...I have faith they will grow to be strong, good people.  I have faith.

As a woman, I am vulnerable, but I am not weak.  I am committed to keeping my faith alive...in my heart, sharing it with my children, talking about it with my friends.  I have faith.

~peace~

 

I believe that kissing is the best calorie burner...

....so says Audrey Hepburn.  And that pink is her favorite color....goes something like this:


'I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.' 

Oh, love this song from one of my favorite all time movies..."Breakfast at Tiffany's"

Moon River


~Peace~

Attreversiamo ~ Let's Cross over

Attreversiamo ~ Let's Cross over

I only have about 20 minutes to write something worth reading...or writing about, so let's see how this goes!

I am in love with my life right now.  It is the greatest time I could ever imagine having.  I have beautiful and healthy children, amazing friends (the list is growing) and my client base is growing as well!  It is a very exciting time...

Yet, I still feel as if there is so much more to do, to uncover, to be challenged by.  (Can I end a sentence in by?) I fell asleep last night watching a Kurt Warner's new show, "The Moment"...where he had the opportunity to offer a mom a second chance at becoming a professional photographer.  I dreamt of Nikon D4s and learning how to use them all night! I woke up this morning to "Eat, Pray, Love" and now feel like I have been delivered a new message.

Forgive.  Forgive myself, because the ones I am looking for forgiveness from...they may never give it.

Believe. Believe in me.  Believe in love.   Believe.

Trust.  Trust that I am enough.  Trust that this life is enough.  Trust.

Tonight I will sit in the audience of the community theater's "Peter Pan".  I will be surrounded by moms, dads, kids, teachers, sisters, brothers who worked so hard to see this project come to life. I feel blessed, enthusiastic and excited for all of us!

My babes are excited too! My son told me last night he loved being on stage and cannot wait to do it again!

Thankful!

~Bonnie

 

I thought that my whole life...

"I think there are cells in your lip that will grow back, I thought that my whole life..." says my five year old son tonight. 

You know what I thought my whole life?  I thought that if I could dream it, I could do it. I thought that if I reached for the stars and missed, I would land amongst the clouds...

And now, with this 1st day of August upon me, I realize that what I thought all along is true.  If I work hard and be kind, people will appreciate it, and they do. If I do good, good will come to me... and it has.  Time and time again.

The love of my family, my friends, my children surrounds me and fills me with joy each and every day of my life.  Sounds cliche, but then why shouldn't it? Cliches are not hard to come by...good people are.

Summer seems to last such a short time in New Hampshire.  Lazy days filled with sun and fresh air, laughter, love and not a care in the world.  Be grateful, love with all your heart and believe that what you thought all along, well...it just might be true.

~Peace

In just a blink of an eye....

Yes, I know...I can see it too. The forest through the trees..the light at the end of the tunnel...the sun guiding my way to the end of another amazing day.  


Summer is a coming! I fully expect to embrace each day with my eyes wide open and my heart full of excitement as each warm day fills my 365 of ’12.  


Peace. Take time to reflect.


~Bonnie

Challenging, but worth it?

I made a friend.  His name is Steve. Some of you know of him, some of you don't. He is a retired Army veteran, fought in a couple wars, been around the block a time or two...single dad raising two amazing teenagers.  He has become my best friend.

He dragged me up and down a sloping, steep, rocky mountain side up to the tops of Georgianna Falls on Sunday.  Well, he said he dragged me...I agreed to it.  I admit it, I was scared...a little whiny, questioning why the hell people hike...what did I get myself into, how am I gonna make it down???  All the while, Steve trudged on with me in tow...helping me out across the rocks, talking me over the squishy slippery steps over the river two times and dragging me through the forest.  He even did this army sign language thing (he probably learned it in combat) when I couldn't hear him over the deafening thrashing sound of falling water.  It totally cracked me up!

The best part of it all was in the knowing of what a special and unique place these falls are to Steve.  He visited them as a child...memories of the water and rocks and trees all too vivid and fresh and ready to be shared with me: the stranger in this forest.

After we visited the top, Steve left me sitting alone on a flat rock listening to the water.  He gave me a pocket knife to fight off the forest boogie man..."probably end up stabbing myself in the foot more than anything else" I thought to myself.  He tip toed to the top along the slippery waterfall's edge, snapped a couple of shots of the pools at the top and snuck down behind me and started throwing stuff at me...just like my brother would have.

When we decided to finally leave, he made me climb higher to a flatter, less rocky terrain so I would feel safer...he did a great job getting me back to solid ground...I only yelped once, okay, maybe twice and fell on my butt once, really only once!  What an amazing day with an amazing friend. 

Life offers challenges... ask me, ask a combat vet, ask your best friend, ask yourself.  How we choose to handle them when in the depth of it all shows true character.  We already know that...should we wish to be dragged through the forest, pushing ourselves to climb higher, be stronger, breathe deeper, be more?  If you don't already know the answer to that question, maybe you need to give it a whirl and find out what you come up with.

~Peace

Ch...ch...changes all around

Soon after I wrote the following post, I realized that the photos I wanted to post are of organisms making changes...it occurred to me that no matter what changes are what makes the world go around. Check it out...

Yes, hard to imagine that it has been nearly 2 months since the last time I have had time, the need or the courage to write about what is going on. I have traveled, met old friends, made new friends and come back home. Seems my life is always a journey of some kind...

The changes that are taking place happen slowly...some slower than others. Reminders along the way to keep it real and remember why I am here are subtle at times, not so subtle at others. If I am lucky enough to know you personally, you are seeing it happen right before your eyes and I appreciate the feedback and love you share while I attempt to realign to my center.

Having fun right now keeping my head above water...seems the March to June months will be focused on more of my professional life and making my way towards securing my future, whatever that means! I love my craft, I wish I had more time and money for it....for now I will hold on to learning more about me, my craft, and whatever else it is that will continue to move me towards finding that center.

Till then...take time to reflect.