Monday, May 5, 2014

Sometimes you have to just let it all go...get it out...on "paper".  I "kind of" want you to read this, but mostly it is for me. At the risk of sounding narcisstic, it is MY blog. I can write what I like.  You can choose to read it, comment, defriend me, go to the next blog...all up to you.   For now, I will write. About me.

Here is my wordle.

I was told that if I start talking about God to my friends...I would lose friends. That sounds so absurd, if  I cannot talk to you about God, well, are you my friend? Would you be so offended that you turned away from me?  Then I thought...hmm, I will call my 4 friends and talk about God and see what they say.  Guess what?  Yes, they are all still my friends.   In fact, they said..."its about time...I am sick of hearing about your life of sin...glad you found your way back!" Okay, not really...they did agree however, that following God is the right choice, the only choice and affirmed why we are and have been friends forever.  Forever. 

Ever had so many questions that you couldn't fall asleep? I feel like that now...I asked someone I have known 33 years,  " you ALWAYS put God first? Is that the #1 relationship in your life?"  "Yes, God, my husband, then my children."  How does one do that?  Where did that come from? How did she know to do that?

Commitment...making it to all the scheduled appointments on my calendar.  Making sure my kids get to school on time...making sure my life is about being committed to sharing the good things God has done for me and the people I love.   How do you stay committed to something? A diet, a change, a relationship? I always think some commitments take a special kind of person. Am I that special person?

Vulnerable...defined below.  How does one become vulnerable without appearing weak? Maybe we are weak, maybe being vulnerable makes us stronger.  It leaves me puzzled. 
[vuhl-ner-uh-buhl] Show IPA adjective
1.  capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2.  open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
Faith...Having enough of it to get me through the day and have a little leftover for my children.  Faith? Faith is believing that there is someone with me along for the ride who enjoys a little bit of a rollercoaster now and again...and has an amazing sense of humor.  Is faith tangible? Is it only a belief? I feel like I have had it, lost it, gotten it back again and wish for my closest friends to find theirs again.
When I graduated from college as a teacher, I wanted to save the world.  I was committed to it...I was open (and vulnerable) to the possibility of making it happen...I had faith. 
As a mom, I am committed to being the best person I can for my children. To love them, guide them as they find their place in this world...THEY are vulnerable, I am vulnerable when I think of them...I have faith they will grow to be strong, good people.  I have faith.
As a woman, I am vulnerable, but I am not weak.  I am committed to keeping my faith my heart, sharing it with my children, talking about it with my friends.  I have faith.